"I Ate What?..."

Serebro: Sound Sleep - MuzTV RMA 2008

2009-11-06T03:57:26Z

A Russian group I ran across.....

The Coming TXU Brownout

2009-09-25T23:40:26Z

This is the email sent to State Senator Wendy Davis (District 10), from me:

Dear Senator Davis,

I am writing out of concerns expressed by friends who have received notices concerning a TXU plan to "offer" regulation of home thermostats via the internet. (I have not received the "offer" as yet.) The core of the conflict lays in TXU "offering" to remotely cycle your home power systems down during peak periods.

Over and above the fact that such "offers" have a habit of becoming "requirements" (and a fairly expensive and unfunded requirement at that), there are major security and regulatory issues with this proposal.

As a professional in both the security and IT fields, I have a somewhat different perspective than most. Briefly:

1. Crash-n-burns. Internet routing units and servers "go down" frequently, severing internet connections to the outside world. There is no real legal recourse for businesses or individuals inconvenienced by such outages, whether it involves not being able to send emails, or losing millions of dollars per day - the service provider may offer pro-rated credit for the lost service time, but states categorically in their EULA's that they are not responsible for loss of business incomes -- nor spoiled food or dead animals when the power cuts out, and overheats your home.

2. Service provisions. Unless TXU intends to also "offer" a high-speed internet connection for this monitoring, this works to convince people to attempt to purchase a service that they may not need, at a price that they can ill-afford.

3. Security. With the real and very major concerns over "cyber-terrorism", the sheer, blinding ignorance of putting any significant portion of the power grid under "external internet" control - as this "offer" will do - is a testament to a stunning level of disconnection with reality on TXU's part.

No computer system is ever completely secure, and even systems custom-written for a specific purpose have the potential to be broken (or "hacked"), simply because virtually all computer systems - including those connected to the internet - use the same language, and often the same core operating system. The recent hack of the TXDOT freeway message boards in the DFW complex is just one pertinent example.

This incredibly ill-advised "offer" is tantamount to opening all of Texas to being blacked-out by either cyber-terrorists or simple internet vandals bent on creating chaos for fun -- which of course has the potential to actually kill persons in hospitals if the grid collapses under dedicated attack.

4. Random stupidity. Currently, a detailed series of events is required to disconnect a home or business from electric power, a series of events with a detailed internal "chain of custody", that results in a "real" person disconnecting a "real" switch, in "real time".

Under this plan, someone making a simple keystroke error can result in a power outage encompassing all of Texas, which can have severe consequences not simply in-state, but far beyond the Red, Rio and Sabine.

Has no one learned anything from ENRON and the California "brownouts"?

Finally, I would - obviously - encourage you, Senator, to take the lead in forcing action to stop this extremely ill-advised and dangerous measure from continuing. This is not an issue of "consumer choice", but is a very real threat to the security - as well as, at the risk of melodrama - the lives of your constituents, and my neighbors.

Thank you for your time.

Very Sincerely,

Michael A. Cessna
Fort Worth

My Articles At Associate Content

2009-09-04T20:43:06Z

As most of you know, I am currently out of work.

In an effort to start trying to bring in a little money - even a trickle - I have begun publishing articles at Associated Content:

http://www.associatedcontent.com/user/613539/michael_cessna.html

I should point out two things:

1. I get paid according to the number of hits to _all_ of my articles, combined, not just one,

and 2. AC is free to sign up for anyone to publish content on - and get paid for...and since I'm home at the moment, I have nothing better to do than click on my friend's article links, especially as it doesn't cost me anything but a click.....

Vanilla Ninja "Blue Tattoo"

2009-08-28T16:06:54Z

Vanilla Ninja "When The Indians Cry"

2009-08-28T15:53:54Z

Care And Feeding Of Pets

2009-08-15T19:34:57Z

Your Pet Man: A Guide to Large Primate Care
By Doc.Suicide

So, you've decided it's time to adopt a pet man into your household. This is not an easy decision. Caring for your pet man is very difficult work, but can bring you great joy. It's a lot like having another toddler around the house. Sadly, sometimes many man owners decide that they've rushed into this decision too quick and with too little preparation. They just drive their man out into the country, toss a ball out the door, and drive off while the man chases it. Not only is this cruel, it is a public health hazard. It leads to packs of feral men running around the country side like a damn short bus exploded.

I'm writing this to make sure this scourge stops. With the proper training, your pet man can be a lovable and fun companion for years to come.

1. Selecting a pet

Selecting your pet man can be a hassle, but nothing in this guide is more important. Men can be broken up into specific breeds by noticing skin color, fur, and a series of grunts, that can give you a clue as to what breed it is and benefits or lack thereof in taking this pet home. I will denote the most common breeds along with an approximation of their grunts and barks to identify the pros and cons:

A) The Meat-head or Jockulus Nevergrewupus - This bread can be found in animal shelters, also known as "sports bars". It is an easily startled animal that can be prone to fits if it's "sports team" doesn't do well. The benefits to this breed are that they're low maintenance. Just turn on the television, put some food down, and this little critter will do his own thing. The downside is that they're not easily trained and when upset, will bark very loudly. The sound most often made is "Oh, come on!!! Pass the ball!!!" When it does this, put on the choke collar, give it a tug, and say "No!"

B) The Yuppie Douche or Hairus Gellus - This creature is a bit higher maintenance than most breeds. It requires massive amounts of grooming and praise, or else it gets antsy. It has a strict diet of sushi and whatever is trendy for that breed at the moment. So, feeding it is hit or miss. The plus side is that it is bred for aesthetics. The downside is that eventually you learn to hate its aesthetics and want to put its face in a waffle iron.

C) The Gamer or WOWus Obeasius - This animal is generally amiable to owners. They are easily cared for and are REALLY excited to be adopted. This breed is prone to health problems due to inactivity. So regular activity is a must. Some pet owners of this breed may be concerned that their pet has become deaf. I assure you this is not the case. Simply unplug the computer, wait for the crying to subside, and command it to run around and play.

D) The Veteran or Youus Werenttherewithius - This particular breed can generally be found whenever Republicans are in office, immediately after a Democratic term. This breed is prone to fits and often drinks like an Irishman. It will generally bark things like "You weren't there, man! Charley - up in the sand dunes!". Whenever it gets like this, quickly hit it on the nose with a newspaper and consider getting it neutered.

Remember, these are only some of the breeds that you can choose from. For the best advice talk to the local breeder.

2. Bringing your pet man home

In eleven out of ten cases, your man will destroy your home. So man-proof your house before he even gets there. Put child locks on all the kitchen cabinets: like dogs, your pet man will eat everything in the house. It's diet must be strictly controlled to prevent health problems - such as its untimely death at your hands.

Many pet owners are now using shock collars as a new way to train your pet man. It is not known at this time how effective this method is, but it's funny as hell to watch.

Also, much like dogs, your pet man may want to sleep in your bed. This is fine, but sometimes, again like dogs, it will try to hump your leg. This is such a common occurrence that companies make a special spray for this occasion. It's called "Mace" and all man-owners should get a can.

3. Training Your Pet Man

Men are difficult animals to train due to the fact that they're basically primates. Start out with small things like fetching the newspaper. This gets them ready for more complex tricks because, well...now you have a rolled up newspaper.

The tricks you teach them can't be too complex or your pet will get distracted and you end up with a house fire. Men are less like a helper monkey and more like a large cumbersome pack animal. Bringing home a heavy wooden desk? Tie that sucker to your pet man and point him in the right direction.

4. Your Pet at Play

Before letting your trained pet back into society, you must mark him as your property. Men are forgetful creatures and may not remember that they've already been adopted. Rings are alright, but the average male can easily slip out of one. This author recommends a tattoo. Right on his damn forehead. It may not be easy to achieve this. The best way is to trick it into the car. Open the front door and jingle your keys. Then yell "Sex!". It'll jump into that car like O.J. into a jail cell. Once in the car, use a form of mechanical sedative - otherwise known as a hammer - and drive it to your destination. This technique also works when talking it to be neutered. Once at the tattoo shop, you'll generally find other pet owners more than willing to tattoo your animal.

Now you're ready to take your pack mule, er...man...anywhere you want to go.

5. Your Aging Man

There comes a time in any pet owners life that they must deal with the reality of putting their man to sleep. This can happen for many reasons - it's getting older, you found another owners pet license in its pocket, or, you simply want to trade it in for a newer model. The reasons aren't important. Your local vet can put your man to sleep painlessly for a small fee, but in today's economy, why waste the money? There are many cheap, and often painful, alternatives that will easily meet your budget. Bludgeoning, firearms, and knives are tried and true methods that won't let you down.

Once that is done, bury it in the back yard with a headstone that says "Pissed me off". This will keep you next pet in line and let him know you mean business.

Don't worry about what some liberals are calling humane treatment laws. In most of the country, men are like bullets. If you shoot one, who gives a darn? That's what they're made for.

A Guide to Taking Care of Your Pet Woman

By Doc.Suicide

So you've decided to bring home a pet woman. Good for you. There are millions of women without owners who are looking for a loving home, and the problem is only getting worse. The average North American Woman is a great pet and a superb companion. Most pet owners have found this to be a great decision for their lives. However, I've spoken to more than a few owners who regret ever bringing such a pet home. Nine times out of ten such regret is not the woman's fault. The fault lies with the owner in not knowing the proper care and training for this pet. That's why reading and understanding this guide is such an important step in bringing home any pet woman.

1. Deciding on a pet.

This is a decision not to be rushed into lightly. Care and consideration must be maintained in choosing a woman. Many people choose the first one that is aesthetically pleasing without considering the many problems that woman owners face after bringing one home. When deciding on a woman make sure to check how it interacts with other creatures. Is it friendly or does it tend to be stand-offish?

Check for the over-all health of the woman. Many women that appear thin and malnourished either have parasites or some sort of mental problem that could cause the owner grief later on. When adopting a woman from a shelter or "bar", as it is sometimes called, make sure that the woman is free of diseases that could affect the owner.

Selecting the right breed is very important. Some breeds have certain peculiarities that the owner must know about. These are some common breeds. There are many out there and this is by no means an authoritative list:

Goth Chick - This breed is generally pretty stand-offish. Most owners like this breed because it is unique - just like all the others in its breed. However, you will be subject to hours of bad poetry, vampire clubs, and broodingly monotonous music. This particular breed is nocturnal, so adjust your sleeping habits accordingly.

Hippie Chick - This breed follows the “dumb but lovable” aesthetic. While not a particularly bright animal, it does have some redeeming qualities - though for the life of me, I can’t think of a single one. This breed must have a strictly controlled organic diet or else it gets antsy and starts barking “Meat is Murder!” or some such nonsense. Another thing to consider is that this breed is the only one that doesn’t naturally groom itself and will generally fight you when you try to bathe it.

Gold digger - This breed can be quite expensive. In some cultures, it is also known as “The Jewish Princess”. It is quite interesting to science in that while it does eat food, it actually only gains nourishment in mineral form by osmosis of precious metals and gems.

2. Bringing your woman home.

After a long decision making-process is concluded, it might be time to bring your woman home. This can be an anxious moment as many women react differently to new surroundings. Its first reaction might be to start destroying your place (i.e. putting books on bookshelves, getting rid of beer bottles, etc). This is natural behavior for a woman. Eventually it'll run out of steam and give up. When this happens you should take this opportunity to acclimate your woman to its new habitat. Let it sniff around the place to get a lay of the land while you drink a beer and add a new bottle to the pile that your woman destroyed.

Much like the average dog, your new woman will get into everything. Don't become angry at your woman when it gets into something you don't want it to. Remain calm, and give it an authoritative "No" and whack it on the nose with a newspaper.

Also like your average dog, your woman may want to sleep in your bed, even if you've gone through the trouble of putting down blankets on the floor. Women are pack animals and this is to be expected. Unlike dogs, who sleep at the foot of your bed, your woman may want to sleep right next to you. Let it. This is natural. Occasionally, your woman might steal your blanket in the middle of the night. Don't overreact to this behavior. After a few times of you shoving it onto the floor, this behavior will correct itself. Note: Sometimes when you do this, your woman will start barking or making noises that mimic human crying. Just say "No" and whack it on the nose with a newspaper. It will quickly stop.

3. Training your woman.

Like a helper monkey, women can be trained to perform simple tasks. Once, shown how to do something, it's a simple matter of reinforcing good behavior. Start with simple tricks, such as fetching. Sit it down in the living room, and then stand it back up and have it follow you to the kitchen. Once there, grab a beer from the fridge and go back and sit down. A few minutes later, hold up the beer and with an authoritative voice say "Fetch". If the woman does the trick correctly, give it a treat. It's that simple. In no time your woman will move up to complex tricks such as cooking, cleaning, sewing, and a variety of other tasks.

Many woman trainers, most notably in Alabama, believe hitting your pet woman is an effective training method. Not only do I think this is counterproductive, it is often illegal. A rolled up newspaper should be the only negative reinforcement your pet receives. Often, only holding up the newspaper is all it takes.

3. Your woman at play.

Your average woman is a social creature and, once acclimated to its new life, must be allowed to interact with other pets. Before allowing your woman to roam, you must first invest in matching rings. Like a collar on a dog, it allows other men to recognize that your woman has already been adopted and prevents them from taking it home. After this is done, have fun. Take your woman to the park and allow it to interact with other women. If you teach your pet to not make noises, it is socially acceptable to bring your woman to the movies and other entertainment venues. You'll often see other men doing the same.

If you are invited to a party, ask the host if it is alright to bring your woman along. Taking your woman along provides it with new scenery and smells, and generally keeps it from getting restless. This is also a good time to show your buddies the new tricks your woman has learned.

Much like a parrot, your woman has a natural penchant for mimicry and may try to make sounds that resemble talking. Some owners may even begin to wonder if their woman is intelligent. I assure you it is not, but it does make for a good parlor trick. When your woman speaks, pretend it's a part of the conversation. You and your friends will have a good laugh. Pat your woman on the head and give it a treat.

4. Health and diet.

The right nutrition is key in taking care of your woman. Like cats, many women are finicky eaters. If you haven't shown your woman how to cook yet, you must carefully monitor what you are preparing for your pet. Too much, and your woman can become overweight and sluggish. This can affect its ability to do tricks. Too little, and it might die and you have to go through the whole training process with another woman. With proper diet and exercise, your woman can live a long and healthy life. (Note: Certain breeds must have more expensive and specialized diets that require eating out, such as the purebred Jewish model commonly known as the "Jewish Princess" and its close relative, the "Muslim Princess". Carefully consider your budget before adopting one of these breeds.)

You must also make sure that your pet is in good health with regular check-ups with your local vet. There are specialized vets that deal exclusively with women. It's often difficult to get your woman to the vet. A good trick to get it in the car is hold up your wallet while jingling your keys and say "Who wants to go shoe shopping?". Once in your car make sure to roll up your windows and lock the doors.

When given medication to give to your woman, it's best to just grind up the correct dosage into its food. If you've trained your woman to cook, it might get suspicious that you've prepared its meal. Just smile and eat your food. This will alleviate its anxiety. As the old adage goes "Woman see, woman do."

5. Your aging woman.

With all the medical advances these days, it's not uncommon that your woman might outlive you. As depressing as this sounds, there are many solutions. You don't want your woman to be owner-less when you're gone. If it looks like your health is failing, the only merciful thing to do is have your woman put down. Your vet has a painless procedure for this. I think it involves a baseball bat, but being as I'm not a vet, I'm not sure about the specifics. If your a farmer, there's nothing wrong with the old shotgun out behind the tool shed.

6. Conclusion

Now you know all you need to care for your woman. I hope this guide will prevent you having to take your woman for "a ride in the country". Thank you.

Why Precedence Is Everything

2009-06-05T16:16:47Z

So, yeah -- As long as a court mandates that they "have" to have a DNA sample from you in order to proceed in a case, using "reasonable" force against you to obtain that sample is perfectly legal, as long as you are not hurt too much in the process, and said evidence can then be used against you in a criminal trial, meaning that evidence you are compelled to surrender can be used to incriminate you.

We are so screwed:

http://rawstory.com/08/news/2009/06/04/judge-tasering-a-suspect-for-dna-legal-if-not-malicious/

http://blog.simplejustice.us/files/66432-58232/TaserDecision1.pdf

Oh Gods! There Are More!

2009-04-17T05:53:13Z

Green Tea Partay

And: Smirnoff - Sea (Much Better)

Just In Case You Haven't Seen It Yet...

2009-04-16T06:21:03Z

...Susan Boyle Dislocates Simon Cowell's Jaw @ 2:25: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9lp0IWv8QZY This link includes lyrics and fansite links...

Full Version at: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=luRmM1J1sfg

I would have embedded the codes, but after 10 Million + hits, they've been disabled......

Totally Ganked From gridlore

2009-04-16T06:09:31Z

YTSO - Very cool

2009-04-16T06:06:37Z

Oh, Fikkity.....

2009-03-12T13:28:56Z

Obama Considers Troop Move To Mexican Border

http://www.mcclatchydc.com/227/story/63800.html

Guess it's time to clean the Garand, again.....

I Don't Care If You Don't Like Glen Beck....

2009-03-09T19:43:19Z

...This is pretty scary stuff:

For The Paintballers Out There...

2009-02-27T22:14:13Z

FIRE SUPPORT!!!!!

http://hackaday.com/2009/02/26/paintball-gun-turret/

OMG-AWESOME!!!! The Chi-Town Tea Party Scheduled For July

2009-02-19T19:17:10Z

I would SO like to go to this, if he really does it!!!!

http://www.cnbc.com/id/15840232?video=1039849853

"...He tasks me! He TASKS me!..."

2009-02-13T15:58:51Z

http://www.politico.com/blogs/michaelcalderone/0209/Clinton_wants_more_balance_on_the_airwaves.html

http://washingtontimes.com/news/2009/feb/13/gregg-withdrawal-foreshadows-census-debate/

Do you NOT realize what you have done? I've held my peace as long as I can, but I can't hold it any longer.

We're screwed. Completely. Truly. Utterly.

We have allowed the so-called "two-party system" to run to its logical conclusion, and we now have one faction in control of all five sectors of American society: the Executive, The House, The Senate, the Court and the Media.

And these are NOT the altruistic neophytes that all the dim-witted, starry-eyed voters think they are -- they are base, craven, political animals who have been give a super-neato toy - the American State - to play with as they will.

Let me cite the two examples above.

The so-called "Fairness Doctrine" is one of the most pernicious, anti-American concepts that was ever allowed to exist. The day Reagan staked that thing and cut off its head was one of the better days in recent memory.

"Air America" is not bankrupt because of the "Vast, Right-Wing Conspiracy"© - it is bankrupt because after listening for something new, talk-radio listeners changed the channel....because no one wants to listen to Liberal tripe, telling people how much they suck-ass if they are anti-Democratic/Liberal. What the Un-"Fairness Doctrine" does is force broadcasters to either create money-losing shows or dismantle Right-Wing/Conservative talk radio....In other words, they are going to legislate away your right to listen to whatever you want.

So much for the 1st Amendment, not that anyone gives a shit about the Constitution anymore.

Then, there is the Census.

For the first time, a sitting President wants to have the Census count done from inside the White House. This is tantamount to sedition at best, treason at worst. Why, you ask? Without an accurate and public count, the faction in control of the government can make up whatever numbers they like, and redistrict to their own advantage, to guarantee that their own loyalists get elected. It also controls where Federal Gimme-Away's go, which also controls who gets to say they donated ever more of YOUR money without your consent to ensure that they got reelected.

Had Shrub tried this, the Democrats would have walked out of CONgress, and riled their constituents to march on the White House with torches and pitchforks.

Yet, everyone who voted for Obama-Messiah remains silent.

So, who's fault is this?

Your. And Mine.

That's right: if you voted a straight RepliDem ticket at anytime in the last 40-ish years, YOU are at fault. And understand: I am included in this, right along with you.

We are well and truly screwed, because there is now only one avenue left open to fix this.....And I am morally certain that there are not nearly enough people willing to take that course to make it work.

I see one of two things in the immediate future: A) We have a long, dark night that ends very, very badly, or B) We have a major OOPS that also ends very, very badly...but we might recover faster if the OOPS happens more quickly than not.

So, yeah: Either way, we're screwed.

Congrats, everyone.......

Heeheehehehehehehehehe.......

2009-01-29T05:19:20Z

Nucleashoe:

clinkerbuilt @ 2009-01-26T22:46:00

2009-01-27T04:46:17Z

Your International Spy Name is Buck Sparks

Your Code Name: The Pirate

You Reside in: Cairo

Why You're a Good Spy: You're a good liar

What's Your International Spy Name?

Yeah, yeah - I know: I work there....

2009-01-22T05:57:18Z

...So don't scream at me about it.

Personally, I think it's cool -- mind-bendingly scary and deranged, but cool, nonetheless.....

That said, I present you -- BulletFlight, by Knight Armament Corp:

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/scienceandtechnology/technology/apple/4297205/Sniper-rifle-software-launched-for-iPod-touch.html

Hrm....

2009-01-22T05:49:26Z

I took the 43 Things Personality Quiz and found out I'm a

Money Managing Traveling Extrovert

10 Take Away's From The Bush Years

2009-01-15T21:54:50Z

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/01/14/AR2009011402791_pf.html

I'm so -- inspired.....

Not.

Welcome To Biden's Crisis

2009-01-15T20:45:46Z

And everyone thought that voting Democrat would kiss it and make it better:

http://thehill.com/leading-the-news/rangel-to-reintroduce-military-draft-measure-2009-01-14.html

Read it and weep - this wouldn't be dragged out again if Rangel thought it wouldn't pass.

And no - Canada isn't an option this time.

Why I Don't Go To The VA...

2009-01-14T14:06:20Z

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090114/ap_on_go_ca_st_pe/vets_medical_glitches

Jesus...

Yo Comments Are Whack!

2009-01-14T05:32:03Z

Sister Salad - *!!YAY!!*

NOT WORK SAFE!

2008-12-11T05:47:56Z

...Due to language.

Why Dee Snyder is of the Awesome.....